Our surroundings play a part in all areas of our lives, including our relationships. To celebrate the month of love, we speak to three different local couples about their love for one another - and their home county.
Chris and Elisabeth Marshall
Chris, 74, is a a retired engineer, and Elisabeth, 66, originally a nurse, went on to help Chris run the family business and to raise their children. Together for 43 years, they live in Bexley and have three sons and two grandchildren.
How did you meet?
Chris: Following my divorce, I went to guitar classes. I could actually already play the guitar quite well, but it was a way of getting out of the house. Elisabeth was at those classes too. That was in 1979 and we were married in 1981.
What do you love about each other?
Chris: I love her talents, thoroughness, and her caring attitude toward others.
Elisabeth: His positivity, enthusiasm and appetite for doing lots of different things.
Since being together, what have you discovered about yourself?
Chris: Always be positive, enjoy life, and appreciate all the little things every day.
Elisabeth: We both believe in tolerance, acceptance and inclusivity.
Do you feel Kent plays a part in your relationship?
Chris: Yes! We've lived at our current address for over 20 years. Bringing up our family here means the county’s definitely played a special part in our relationship.
What sort of things do you like doing within the county?
Elisabeth: At the moment, meeting up with our friends in one of Kent's brilliant pubs. We've also spent many happy days at Broadstairs on the beach.
Chris: We've also enjoyed going to Whitstable and looking around the fish market, and visiting many of the area’s country houses. We own a Triumph TR3 open-top sports car - great for driving round the county.
What does love mean to you?
Chris: I’m an engineer so I’m not really a great expert on this topic! I think, though, it means getting to know someone intimately and sharing your life and experiences with them. When you learn what makes your loved one happy, you can then make them happy - and that makes you feel very good.
Do you have a favourite romantic spot in Kent?
Elisabeth: Yes: the boat club at Cuxton, where we can tuck into fish and chips as we look out over the river.
Becky London and Amanda Stewart
Becky, 41, a photographer at Louisa London Photography, and Amanda, 39, musician and director at Jack Entertainment, have been together for nearly four years. They live in Nettlestead, Wateringbury, and between them have three children aged nine, eight, and six.
How did you meet?
Becky: We met online after both going through divorce from the men we were previously married to. Our both having children meant we had a mutual understanding of family life and the ups and downs of past relationships.
What does love mean to you?
Becky: It's everything. To feel at peace with yourself and your sexuality. To feel at home with your partner and children. Love is a feeling, a connection. Love equals happiness and laughter, respect, and honesty.
What do you love about each other?
Amanda: Her warmth, bubbliness and loveable nature
Becky: Her kindness and beautiful nature. I love nothing more than when Amanda looks at me with her amazing smile - I feel that deep connection between us.
Since being together, what have you discovered about yourself?
Amanda: I’m really messy in the kitchen - I cook and Becky constantly tidies up after me! I like to be creative and I make good food.
Becky: That I can sing! I always thought I couldn’t, but Amanda’s a professional singer - she runs UK Soul Choir in Tonbridge – and she’s helped me with my confidence and technique. Now I love to sing Soprano with the choir. Amanda helped me to reconnect with my creative side again.
Do you feel Kent plays a part in your relationship and, if so, how?
Amanda: We’ve only lived in Nettlestead for just over a year – before, Becky was in Bromley and I’m from Hemel Hempstead – but we love Kent and feel very at home here.
Becky: I spent a lot of time here throughout my childhood, visiting the seaside at spots such as Dymchurch and Camber Sands. I’ve gone on to take my children and Amanda to these places.
Do you have a favourite romantic spot in Kent?
Amanda: We still have many places to explore, but we enjoy walks in our local countryside, anywhere with a great view north of Wateringbury - or on the hillside enjoying a glass of wine at Yotes Court in West Peckham.
Becky: We plan to explore the east Kent coastline next year, and to find some amazing hidden music spots,where we can listen to jazz and soul as we drink a cocktail or two!
@happiness.love.laughter
Ali and Naomi Gale
Ali , 36, is a project manager in translation, and Naomi, 34, offers holistic gynaecalogical support as a vaginologist. Together for 12 years, they live in Margate with their three children: their six-year-old son and twin girls, five.
What do you love about each other?
Naomi: I love how Ali continues to show how much he loves me, which in turn continues to remind me that I am deserving of a loving relationship.
Ali: I love her tenacity and her ability to make me laugh.
Since being together, what have you discovered about yourself?
Naomi: The most valuable lesson has been learning how to bask more in the joy of the here and now. Ali has taught me to slow down.
Ali: Naomi showed me that life didn't have to be mundane - it's such an adventure living with her.
Do you feel Kent plays a part in your relationship and, if so, how?
Naomi: When we were in lockdown with the children, we realised how much we had started to lose ourselves and our identities in Sussex. We lived in a village in a new build, and when we couldn't drive or visit anywhere, we discovered we lacked local amenities and joy.
We decided to move to Margate after visiting a couple of times, but the process to sell and buy in 2020/21 was one of the most challenging experiences we've been through - and that's even after going through IVF abroad. It really brought us so much in our relationship, with landing in Kent a pivotal moment.
What does love mean to you?
Naomi: Holding someone close through the ebbs and flows of life.
Ali: It’s a completely indescribable feeling, but when you know, you know - and with Naomi, I knew pretty much straight away.
How does love make you feel?
Naomi: As a recovering People Pleaser, love can make me feel anxious at times; as if there is something to be earned. But as I continue to learn the tools I need to soothe my nervous system, the more I can unravel into the safety of being loved unconditionally.
Ali: Love makes me feel safe and secure. It’s the best feeling, and one I would always want for my children in their relationships.
What do you like doing in Kent?
We both love sea swimming. We love getting on our boots, gloves, and swimwear in the winter. We dip, swim, and then warm up in the back of our van looking out at the sea. We love Walpole Bay Tidal pool: when the tide is just going out to reveal the wall that surrounds it, it’s the best place to be. In the summer, we wear just our swimwear and our beach stuff because weekdays on the beach is very 'Costa Del Margate'!
Do you have a favourite romantic spot?
We have a date afternoon on a Tuesday when Ali has half a day and the children are at school. Once we were sitting at the old lido looking out to sea, and there was a guy there with a drone. He took photos as he caught us sitting there, and Ali bought the print for an anniversary with a note saying, ‘there is no one else I'd rather sit next to on a Tuesday afternoon.’
Learning to love again
David Raymond, 64, a money broker, lives in Orpington with the youngest of his three daughters, who he raised on his own since her mum died five years ago. Here he shares why it’s never too late to find love again
When did you recognise things needed to be different?
Having taken care of my sick wife, I realised after she’d passed away that I’d let myself go, and struggled mentally. Something had to change, though, as I had a lovely young daughter who needed me. I really do believe everyone is capable of change, it’s not easy but it’s all about refocusing and willpower.
What was the process that saw you learn to love yourself again?
I had counselling, and I even took a course at college to become a counsellor myself. After a total change of mindset, I took time out from working in the financial markets. I know all of this changed me for the better.
Did you ever think you would find love again with someone new?
No, I didn’t because I had no self-esteem. To be honest, I thought “who'd want to be with an old man?” Someone did, though! I met Jackie over two and a half years ago, through the scary medium of online dating.Our first meeting was in the Dane John Gardens in Canterbury.
How has Jackie helped you?
She’s been great for me. I used to be very judgemental and I always worried about how I was perceived, how I looked. Even though I seem ultra-confident, it’s all a facade. We’re polar opposites, which is good too. She acts as my ‘food police’ at meal times, supports me unequivocally and encourages me to love myself.
What do you like to do witin the county?
Wild swimming at Walpole Bay, the colder the better! Also, we love walking- and there are plenty of wonderful walks within the county.
READ MORE: Later-life dating: where and how to find love over 45
