At an event in Richmond, Virginia, I was asked about desirable types of masculinity for young men. With tongue firmly in cheek, I noted, as a Brit in a southern state: ‘You got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run,’ before giving my view that we want the same values and outcomes for all our children, boys and girls, it’s just the pathways of getting there might be different.

There are certain things we know in education. Primary amongst these is that, on average, boys and girls develop at different times and different rates: boys later and slower – physically, cognitively and socially.

So, what do we do about it? Should all schools with boys be able to give parents a clear, considered, comprehensive response to this question? In development we know:

  • The difference between boys and girls is most significant around ages 11 to 13.
  • The three main influences on a child’s development are the home, the peer group, and success at school.
  • Boys’ social groups are larger and more competitive.

We also know from the work of Reichert and Hawley that boys are relational learners who experience their teachers before they experience the lessons they teach, and that boys tend to elicit the kind of pedagogy they need.

We know from Professor Andrew Martin that to thrive academically, socially and in themselves, boys need to know we believe in their capacity to succeed, have confidence in teachers’ abilities, and know that we will act on what they tell us works for them.

With all we know and observe around the globe, the following matters arise requiring responses from all schools with boys:

  • Boys are foundationally relational in their learning.
  • For boys, the nurturing of values requires articulation and time.
  • Boys need care, consistent boundaries and transactional and relational consequences.
  • Boys need to find their peg, feel of worth and that they can contribute and be relied upon.
  • School routines should be adapted to the needs of key stages of development.
  • Friendship plays a major role in boys’ social-emotional wellbeing.
  • The training of teachers needs to include what we know works for boys.
  • Three of these are particularly pertinent in these times.

That boys’ social groups are larger and more competitive, makes friendship crucial to healthy development (Image: William Cooper , Harrow School)

Boys are foundationally relational in their learning (Reichert)

Boys need to know that we believe in their capacity for success. To pinch from Reichert: You have to reach them before you can teach them. When a learning relationship breaks down, boys are not going to act to repair it: the power gap is too wide. Given boys are foundationally relational in their learning, unless the teacher repairs the learning relationship, the boy will not learn to his capacity and often withdraws. Repairing learning relationships is not a soft option. It speaks directly to the work of John Biggs: it is not ‘what the child is’ or ‘what the teacher does’ that is important, rather ‘what the child does’ as a consequence of the teacher’s actions.

The nurturing of values requires articulation and takes time

You can’t just walk into a class of 15-year-olds and say: ‘Okay, over the next term we are going to teach you about character.’ It’s not that easy – we’re not that easy. The building of personal values for a lifetime’s decision-making takes time with boys. Coherently throughout their schooling, through questioning and conversation, we need to guide boys to rationalisation and reason in an environment of agreeable disagreement. We need to listen rather than shut down, particularly when we don’t like what they say. As Professor Niobe Way notes, if boys stop being curious about other people, they start to stereotype, and if they stop asking questions of others, they stop asking questions of themselves.

Friendship plays a major role in boys’ development and social-emotional wellbeing

Perhaps nowhere through the years of growing up is the relationship between the individual and the group more meaningfully and mutually explored than in same age friendship. Within the bonds, loyalty and humour of the friendship group, boys explore their broader relationships with others without fear of failure or judgement. That boys’ social groups are larger and more competitive, makes friendship crucial to healthy development. It is here they test out their values for life. Stressing the importance of connection, Professor Matt Englar Carlson, guides schools to explicitly teach and model skills for empathy, open communication, and collaboration to help boys form deep, supportive friendships. Drawing compelling link to men’s health, he challenges us to teach boys that strong social relationships are the single greatest predictor of a long, healthy, and happy life.

Last year’s report from the UK Centre for Social Justice concluded: ‘For boys and young men in Britain – especially those who are poor – the picture is an increasingly bleak one.’ We want the same values and outcomes for all children. It’s just the pathways can be different. There are things we can do in schools to improve outcomes for boys and social and economic outcomes for all..

Teachers need to listen to boys’ needs (Image: William Cooper , Harrow School)

IN ASSOCIATION WITH

The International Boys’ Schools Coalition (IBSC) is an organisation based in the US with around 280 members across the globe spanning independent, Catholic and government sectors.Tom Batty has spent 37 years as a teacher and in leadership roles in schools in New Zealand, Australia and the UK. While educated, trained and having started his career in co-educational environments, he has spent 34 years involved with boys’ schools. theibsc.org